Speech 2 Outline
Introduction Fossil fuel is running low and harming the environment. The global temperature is rising There are less than 50 years of reserve left The pollutants are harmful to the body Body People should start driving electric cars They are way more energy efficient Causes way less noise than gasoline cars No emissions from the car Benefits to the consumer Tax breaks on for buying electric vehicles No risk of carbon monoxide poisoning Batteries don't carry the risk of explosion unlike gasoline Conclusion Electric cars will help cut the addiction on fossil fuel Promote investment in clean energy Reduce economic risk from countries like Saudi
Flow of Paper:
ReplyDeleteI thought that your paper flowed well. When you add an in-text citation you should explain it a bit more and put information in the beginning of the sentence where you added the quote. Overall I thought your paper was well developed. You had a great balance of graphs with your paragraphs and everything is well explained.
Format / Language:
This paper was very formal. I thought that the length was perfect, but I did notice that you didn't have a long discussion. I would go back an add a bit more information to sum up your points. Your in-text citations looked good and you used a good variety of references. APA format was followed very well (use of headings, sub-headings, and headers).
Organization:
Your sections were very specific and followed the guidelines well. Great job!
Survey Itself:
I think you had great questions to ask. They were very specific which makes your information a lot more accurate and useful. It was a very interesting topic.
Improvements:
1. You had few spelling/grammar errors
2. Add more information in front of your in-text citations
3. Add more to your discussion it is quite short and needs a bit more information. (sum the paper up and explain your main points again
OVERALL GREAT PAPER!!
You had a really good introduction that concisely summed up the points of your research. You had a clear gap in knowledge, and your in text citations were correctly formatted. You could try maybe doing a little more of the reducing sentence size thing we learned in class, but overall great beginning. Your graphics were really good, but try putting italicized captions underneath them that label them and explain what data they are showing. There were a couple small grammar errors that are easy fixes. The one lacking area in your paper appears to be the discussion section. You need to more thoroughly review your points, and better explain the implications of your research. Other than that, this paper was well formatted, concise, and showed well researched data. Good job!
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